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We Report... You Deride

Tuesday, June 07, 2005  
Terminated For Cause

There are issues where nothing is black and white. There are decisions where there is no clear-cut right or wrong. And then there's the issue of "Was Tricky Dick Nixon a fucking crook?" and the decision "Should that lying sack of shit have been thrown out of office?"

It's very simple: You either answer "yes" to both those questions or you aren't an American. Peggy Noonan, Ben Stein, Chuck Colson, Gordon Liddy, Pat Buchanan-- they've all shown, in the last few days, that they understand nothing about this country, that they are ignorant of the principles it was founded on and therefore were and are unfit for government service.

Stein's brief explains their position articulately: "Can anyone even remember now what Nixon did that was so terrible?... Oh, now I remember. He lied. He was a politician who lied. How remarkable. He lied to protect his subordinates who were covering up a ridiculous burglary that no one to this date has any clue about its purpose. He lied so he could stay in office and keep his agenda of peace going."

That's it. That's exactly why he was being fired; it's exactly why he deserved to be fired. It's called "termination for cause", and the cause was that Tricky Dick violated his employment agreement with the American People. Anyone who doesn't understand that fact is intellectually bankrupt on the subject of American Democracy.

Even if the laundry list that Stein and Nooner spit out weren't bullshit, it wouldn't matter in the slightest. Tricky Dick wasn't hired to save the jews or prop up the dominos. Article II of the U.S. Constitution, explains the powers of the Presidency. Section 1, Clause 8 clearly states what Tricky Dick's sole responsibility was:

Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:--"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Those six words: "Preserve, protect and defend the Constitution." That was his job. Let's try a little strict constructionism on for size: The Constitution of the United States comes before everything else. That includes political objectives. And every other cause except for the Constitution.

And I hate to break it to all the 9/11 assholes, but the Constitution even comes before human life. The founders-- who'd been occupied, tyrannized, jailed, tortured and killed for opposing the government-- knew that liberty took priority over everything else. And you control the amount of liberty you have by the laws you define and enforce.

So, no, even if Tricky Dick could have waved his magic wand and saved the lives of hundreds of thousands of Cambodians (which he wouldn't have-- he would have had them barbecued and served on the White House lawn if it would have advanced his political career one iota), it wasn't worth the damage that his continued presence in office would have caused to the Constitution.

The President of the United States isn't empowered to selectively enforce the Constitution-- to make value judgments about when and where and in what circumstances to enforce its provisions. He's there to make sure it's followed.

And Tricky Dick Nixon didn't just fail to ensure that the provisions of the Constitution were enforced-- he actively tried to subvert them. The crooked motherfucker approved the breakin at Democratic Headquarters in the Watergate. He approved the burglary of the office of the psychiatrist who was treating Daniel Ellsberg. He approved the founding of the "Dirty Tricks" unit (some working out of the White House and others paid with illegally diverted campaign funds) that:

1. Started a rumor that Senator Henry Jackson (one of his prospective opponents in 1972) fathered a child out of wedlock.

2. Forged a letter claiming that the wife of Senator Edmund Muskie (another prospective opponent) was an alcoholic who referred to Canadians as "Canucks."

3. Performed opposition research on Ted Kennedy's career.

4. Sabotaged political rallies for Senators Hubert Humphrey and George McGovern.

He had White House staff compile a list of poltiical enemies who were to be targeted for retribution by the FBI and IRS.

He attempted to take over the CIA, FBI and IRS and use them for political purposes.

He advocated terrorism-- ordering associates to firebomb the Brooking Institution. (According to Henry "Dr. Strangelove" Kissinger, just another example of his madcap sense of humor.)

And when some of his cheap thugs got caught, the thieving cocksucker tried to order the investigation shut down. He decided to have Vernon Walters-- the CIA's Deputy Director of Intelligence-- call acting FBI Director L. Patrick Gray and tell him not to investigate the Watergate burglary-- that it was a CIA covert operation that was critical to national security.

"When you get in these people when you...get these people in, say: "Look, the problem is that this will open the whole, the whole Bay of Pigs thing, and the President just feels that" ah, without going into the details... don't, don't lie to them to the extent to say there is no involvement, but just say this is sort of a comedy of errors, bizarre, without getting into it, "the President believes that it is going to open the whole Bay of Pigs thing up again. And, ah because these people are plugging for, for keeps and that they should call the FBI in and say that we wish for the country, don't go any further into this case", period!"

Any President who makes such a statement in the Oval Office immediately forfeits his right to continue to occupy it. I don't give a shit how many box tops and green stamps and brownie points the guy has collected or what anyone thinks he might do.

Trying to balance Tricky Dick Nixon's involvement in Watergate by citing his accomplishments as President is like reminding us that Mary Kay Latourneau was universally regarded as a wonderful art teacher, or citing the many hours that Dr. Jayant Patel's spent volunteering at the free clinic.

There are some cases where there isn't any "on the other hand", and this is one of them. And the guy who knew that best was Tricky Dick. He couldn't obey the law, but the evil bastard knew exactly what it required:

"Iin all of my years in public life I have never obstructed justice. People have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook."

Yes, he fucking was. And that's why Mark Felt ratted him out. And it's why everyone alive in the 1970's who wasn't an ultraconservative ideologue fuck wanted him thrown out of office.

And it's a sickening comment on the quality of liberty available today that these retromingent cocksuckers can get a podium to preach their perverted brand of drizzly bullshit.

1:16 AM

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